Cerebral Palsy Diagnosis

April 9, 2024

Dear Emersyn,

We sat in the parking lot today. And I just cried. I wasn’t able to call Talon just yet, respectfully being in academy. I waited around to see if he’d be near his phone, just in case. It feels like I have the wind knocked out of me. I cry some more and texted my mom if I could call. She called right away. I had to share that today you’ve been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. It’s an avenue I thought we crossed off a year ago. I wasn’t expecting this.  It was probably glaring at us, but we didn’t know. I called Oomie next and after visiting with both of your grandmas, this is okay. We will be okay. A diagnosis isn’t a ceiling halting you, it’s going to open doors. This is helpful for us as we navigate. They have lifted my spirits so much.

The doctors we saw today displayed so much compassion. One spending nearly an hour with us, I imagine. She was amazing. Here I thought this would be just a routine check-in. Our last visit was a bigger one with their help ordering your first set of AFOs, (your ski boots!), your first walker. But today was just different. An unexpected diagnosis day. Yet they gave me space – time to process, time to ask questions. I am surprised. I’m taken back. I think it’s hard because this feels compounded. Separately, we’re pending with genetics. It’s complicated. And those aren’t even my words, but your neurologist’s. And there seems to be additional question marks we’re exploring with your sensory concerns, but luckily we’re already connected with Developmental & Behavioral. This is a lot to take in. I just feel that more things keep being added, it’s all stacking up. I am so sorry, Emersyn. This diagnosis, or any others, will not define you. A diagnosis is not a definition. We will never put limits on you. No one is. We are so blessed with your strength and your readiness to keep going. You work so hard, every damn day. I’m just sad for you right now. So I keep driving. We just keep driving. And I keep processing. We’re already in the midst of relocating so there’s relief for once. We are uprooting to get you closer to therapies. God continues protecting us in every aspect. These mountains, we will climb them together. We can do this.  You already are. You are a light in this world. Keep shining, Emersyn ✨